Mike Brady had three very lovely girls but he never managed to prepare us men for “those” talks, at the very best he’d say, “Go ask your mother.”
Which they’d always dutifully did.
So when my eight year old came asking I’ll confess I tried to do, but alas she’d not take that bait or the hint.
The talk in question revolved around what tampoons are and why mummy, sometimes, wears a nappy?
After the “Go ask your mother.” Fell in a steaming heap, I tried “Do you really want to know?” I said this with raised eyebrows in an attempt to sway her response.
It didn’t work and naturally she did want to know what those strange white missiles were and why mummy appeared to be reverting to an infant state once a month or so.
So like a hero of old I dove right in.
“Well as girls get older their bodies change, and when you’re a teenager your body will… try… to… get rid of some stuff.”
“Blood?” She said with far too much authority.
“Yeah, more or less. Now you don’t want to ruin your clothes or bed sheets, so sometimes you have to wear big girl nappies.”
“I like big girl nappies, I tried one of mummy’s and it made my butt stick out😆”
“Hmmm, good, do you have any other questions?”
So like Odysseus fighting off the sirens song I’d got through it, although I’m sure the peace is not destined to last long.
Thanks Josh and Chuck for your help on this tricky subject, I’m sure I’ll rely on Stuff You Should Know again soon.